The Scientist
by FerrsureeLauren
Summary: Bella needed Jasper. Not just for his companionship or his control over her emotions. They both knew things could get easier.


Jasper's eyes met mine.

He knew exactly where I was going. I avoided his eyes and crossed the spacious living room. It was only a matter of time before we all had to go. But there was one more thing I wanted to say goodbye to.

_"Edward, Alice, Carlisle? Where are you going?" I asked as the three of them stepped into the sunlight. Their skin sent rainbows of color scattering around the room. Nessie and Jasper stood sentires at my sides, equally as curious._

_Carlisle had smiled. "We're going to be back, don't worry." _

_I was still puzzled as Edward had stepped out of the sunlight and back into the living room. He held my waist and pressed his lips softly to mine._

_"You trust me, don't you?" He said quietly. I pursed my lips and he chuckled._

_"Yes, but..." I broke off, watching Alice wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him fiercely. This wasn't right. They were hiding something from us. "Just tell me-"_

_Edward laughed again, brushing his nose along the edge of my jaw and trailing kisses. "It'll be a surprise."_

_Jasper, Nessie, and I watched them leave without looking back._

_They were far into the forest already when I was sure I heard Edward speak._

_"Just be happy." _

But it could have been my own imagination.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry.

You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you, tell you I need you.

Tell you I set you apart.

I stepped into the rain, feeling the cool water caress my face. I broke off into a run through the forest, finally finding my way to Charlie's house. Charlie was at work.

I stepped away from the house and back into the forest and counted. One, two... The unmarked graves were two miles southeast from the house. Graves with only ashes in them.

I knelt down in front of Edward's grave.

I started humming Debussy as the rain crashed through the thick canopy above, darkening the soil. Edward, Edward, Edward...

_They had been gone twenty-four hours. Esme had sent Jasper and I on a curious search. We found nothing, losing their already weak trail at the airport when Tanya had called our house the following morning. _

_"The Voltouri," Was all she needed to say. I had hung up before I could hear the rest of her explanation. I explained to Jasper, with my lips barely moving. He understood me. Our coven was too much once Nessie matured. _

_Nessie, who made the family nine. Unacceptable. Impossible. Not allowed._

_Alice, Edward, Carlisle had sacrificed themselves. Aro sent us the ashes._

Tell me your secrets, ask me your questions.

Oh let's go back to the start.

Running in circles, coming up tails,

Heads on a silence apart.

I heard footsteps in the distance. I had smelled him already, not looking back as Jasper stepped out of the ferns, almost inaudible.

He stood above me for a moment, then knelt down beside me, putting his hand on my shoulder. I felt the wave of calm, but it felt more like a numbness to me.

Jasper. Who was he to try and calm me when he still felt the same hell himself? I stared sideways at him. His eyes were steady on mine.

Some kind of scientist who plays with other people's emotions. Who knew how everyone felt. The scientist who knew everything. We barely knew each other, but now, it seemed as if some barrier had broken between us.

Nobody said it was easy  
It's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be this hard  
Oh take me back to the start

How good it would have been, to sit there forever with Jasper. His pain became my pain. It would have been so easy, to just let his emotions control mine so I would feel nothing at all. I almost wished I could have helped him, too.

For one wild moment, I could see the future with Jasper, running away from Forks together to find another place where the past couldn't bother us anymore. It would have been so easy.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
Pulling your puzzles apart  
Questions of science, science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart

I put my arm around his waist, and he did the same, leaning his head against mine. He pressed his lips to my forehead. It tore me up even more.

It was what Edward had done before he had said goodbye to me once. He sensed what I was feeling and held me closer. I laced my hand into his.

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start  
Running in circles, chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are

I looked up at Jasper. Could I really? Edward was irreplaceable. It was impossible to. Yet, there was still that gaping hole in my chest that I felt that I couldn't explain.

He was looking back at me. Different than Edward. Yet I needed him. He needed me. Of course maybe it couldn't be the same, but it would be better.

Somehow.

Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard

I reached out and stroked his cheek. The rain was hitting his face, making it look like a vampire was crying. I wiped away the raindrops and pressed my lips to his jaw and pulled back an inch.

He was measuring my expression. He leaned his forehead against mine.

He kissed me once.

For one fleeting moment, the sun broke through the thick clouds and canopy, hitting his face. I felt torn into two, wondering.

_Just be happy._

I pressed my lips to his again. I could still feel the hole in my chest. But I also felt something else, now. How much did I want Jasper?

I'm going back to the start.

I almost felt the static touch of Edward's hand for the first time in the dimly lit classroom at Forks High school. How much did I need Jasper?

I closed my eyes and brushed my nose against his cheek, feeling his breathing.

This was enough.

* * *


End file.
